Is there a recipe for happiness?

Are you unhappy? Maybe busy enough not to ask yourself whether you’re unhappy or not? Or do you feel, on the other hand, genuine happiness? Coping with our most basic human desire in a stress driven world can be outrageous, or so it has been for me and most of my friends I had the chance to deeply talk on happiness. So, really, is there a recipe for happiness?

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However, is it truly so difficult? Everyone has got their own idea of happiness, making this a Tower of Babel paradox, I’ll give you that, but, we’re all humans, same machines slightly differed by DNA permutations. Basic emotions are no more than neuropeptides being dissolved in our blood, and the association of those emotions with thoughts brings feelings as a result. Maths and chemistry, that’s all, at least in this oversimplification scenario.

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So, if we are all the same, what’s the common point? What are the things that we all can do to be happier? What’s the base of this pyramid? Well neither I am a therapist (AT ALL), nor I graduated on psychology but engineering, but I do am a psychology freak and have been all over the place a couple of times when I have had to bring my shit together, so here is what brought results to an average human being (as you, we, are).

As a premise, understand that you are your responsibility and nobody else’s, and so is for everyone else, friends, family, couples, those are great things to have but you are your primate mandatory thing to take care of. Once understood, let’s get real on this, if you don’t take care of yourself, too lazy, feels boring, no time, or any other excuses, then well, you being unhappy is all your fault.

Exercise, lift weights, run, swim, bike, do cardio, feel the power of your body, get in control of the machine you’ve been gifted. The same way it feels awesome when a new device responds the fastest, so it will with your body.

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Fuel it properly, no money? Go for legumes, else, the internet is plenty of dishes which would give you what you need. You wouldn’t expect your car to work properly with diesel if it’s gasoline, why would you expect your body to?

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Tame your mind, meditate, this seems like a real trend right now, but it truly works. Let’s all work through normalizing meditation by not looking at those who do it like freaks. I’ve never seen an unhappy Buddhist monk. Neither you have to become one, ten minutes a day will do just fine. No sponsors behind, but I do recommend the Headspace app.

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Reduce, having lots of things distracts you from extracting joy from them, like a closet full of clothes make you feel blocked on what to wear. Stop accumulating, whenever you are going to buy something ask yourself, How is this going to bring joy to my life? Is that joy healthy for me? Does it have space in the life I want to live? Wait 30 days to buy something you want, and avoid sales.

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Enjoy your stuff. I feel like passion is such a delusional concept right now, nothing continues being as intense as it is at the start, my grandparents weren’t probably having the same great sex at their 70’s as they had on their 20’s but sure as hell they were a happy couple and brought to the world great things. Enjoy the things you like doing while you do and let them flow, you may stop enjoying them and that’s fine, just remember that whatever new activity you take on will mean a pain threshold until you master it enough to enjoy it, so don’t quit too quickly!

Share and let be shared with. How do you feel when you help someone? Great! That’s how we humans feel when we do so, and that’s how other people will feel if you open yourself to them and let them help you. Don’t misunderstand this with getting needy, remember our premise, but you can expect active listening, companion and advice. Remember this is a tow sided road. But not only this refers to problems, share your friends with other people, share what you enjoy, help others discover new worlds, and let yourself be helped too.

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Engage, there’s a world of possibilities around you and you are able of doing good, engage people, activities, your environment, go for a walk just for the sake of it, beware of all the chances what you are enrolled in has and use them for your best joy, you have so much more than what you may think.

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Normalize. Nobody likes to imagine their loved ones getting wasted in a disco full of sharks, it’s normal, so don’t harm yourself, neither you are a psycho. Feeling tired after a 10 minutes run when you haven exercised in months it’s normal, everyone would. Not losing weight in a week because it has been harder to exercise or eat healthy happens. Being sad happens, feeling anxious happens, having an accident happens, just normalize it, move on, and change if you need.

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Bring nature in. We weren’t born to live around concrete walls. Display some life around your home, make it warm and cozy, plants are a great start! Books (not ebooks, please), manufactured wooden decoration, set the right music, smells and views to your home’s senses stimulation.

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There is so much more that I would love to write but I meant to be simple. Hope this may help anyone out there.

Also, all these books help in feeling better with yourself and what you do :

  • 4 Hour Work Week: A whole lifestyle for work-life balance, getting rich and embracing cultures and languages in the world while you travel.
  • Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience: The best book for discovering why you like some tasks and, and some point, you don’t anymore, or why anxiety drives sometimes all your decisions, while giving you the chance to find activities that get you in a continuous flow state
  • How to Win Friends and Influence People : How to make your way to the top, but do not let you be driven by just your ambition, let also your passion dive in.